Many thanks to all and special thanks to
Trish, AngOBri, Johnj4269, K1mmm,  
for contributing to the content of today's page.

"Start every day off with a smile - and get it over with!"
We can't control the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

2 0 0 9
To all of you from all of us.
We wish you Health and Prosperity
for all the years yet to come!

My grandmother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas.
The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.

As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said,
"What's the matter?
You didn't like the other one?"



SOME ODD LIMERICKS
- -
A flea and fly in a flue,
Were imprisoned so what could they do?
Said the flea let us fly.
Said the fly let us flee.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
-
A tutor who tooted a flute,
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?" 
-
There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
-
There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she assayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in!
-
There was a young man from the Clyde
Who fell down a sewer and died
Along came his brother,
Who fell down another
And now they're interred side by side!
-
By beauty I am not a star.
There are others more handsome by far.
My face I don't mind it.
because I'm behind it.
It's the people in front that I jar.
-
There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was just three feet tall!
-
An old fellow dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too".
-
Roses can sometimes be red
And violets are generally blue.
For it's not in the rhyming,
But all in the timing,
That makes any dumb Limerick true!

A teenage boy and his grandfather were fishing one day.
While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The boy acknowledges this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today.

The teen says, "Gramp's, they didn't have a whole lot of problems
with too many kids when you were young did they?"

The grandfather replies, "Nope."

The teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for birth control?"

The old guy replies, "A wedding ring."

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard,
the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
 
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
 
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
 
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
 
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's that?
In case I need to fix it again.'
 
Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of
an ID ten T error before?''
 
'No', I replied.
 
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
 
So I wrote down:    I D 1 0 T
 
I used to like that little shit!

Why Some Men Have Dogs
And Not Wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice
to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog;
they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died,
would you get another dog"?

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper
and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it
without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad.
They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but NOT least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.





One of Bush's last acts in office 
will be to change endangered species status 
from protected to delicious! 
Yahoo News



Frank was excited about his new rifle
and decided to try bear hunting.
He traveled up to Alaska ,
spotted a small brown bear and shot it.

Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder,
and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said,

'That was a very bad mistake.
That was my cousin.
I'm going to give you two choices.
Either I maul you to death or we have sex.'

After considering briefly,
Frank decided to accept the latter alternative.
So the black bear had his way with Frank.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks,
Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip to Alaska
where he found the black bear and shot it dead.

Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said,

'That was a big mistake, Frank.
That was my cousin and you've got two choices:
Either I maul you to death or we have 'rough sex.'
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate
with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death.
So the grizzly had his way with Frank.

Although he survived,
it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
Now Frank was completely outraged,
so he headed back to Alaska and managed
to track down the grizzly bear and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, 
there was a tap on is shoulder. 

He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear looked at him and said : 

''Admit it Frank,
you don't come here for the hunting, do you ?

Bob: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, 
I'll be dead in a week."
  
Bill: "Why is that?"
  
Bob: "I've been screwing his wife."

The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked
into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags.
Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her
flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel's
valet service to pick it up for pressing.

Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded
at the door, and there stood an elderly Chinaman, waiting.

Impressed by the fast service, the career woman exclaimed,
"My, you come lickety-split!"

"No, ma'am," replied the Chinaman.
"Come to get laundry."



Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.'

The blond starts crying to her husband, sobbing 
'That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!'

Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, 
and there is always that risk involved.'

After a few minutes, the blond, still sobbing, says, 
'How many is a Brazilian?"

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, 
the world will know peace."
                                                              Jimi Hendrix

" WOW "

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW
JOKES and CARTOONS
PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITES.
WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO INCLUDE THEM
IN FUTURE ISSUES FOR ALL TO ENJOY
Please use the "Feedback" or "E-Mail links.

         

BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL OF VIRUSES,
PLEASE DO NOT SEND ATTACHMENTS.
ATTACHED FILES WILL BE DELETED.

ALL ISSUES CONTAIN COPY, EITHER
"BORROWED" FROM OTHER PUBLISHERS
OR CONTRIBUTED BY READERS
~~~~ MANY THANKS TO YOU ALL ~~~~
IF YOU SEE AN ITEM WITH COPYRIGHTS, LET ME KNOW
SO THAT PUBLICATION RIGHTS MAY BE PROCURED as well as
 ALLOW ME TO PLACE CREDIT WHERE IT IS RIGHTFULLY DUE.
REMEMBER - IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY.

For an E-MAIL REMINDER
of every issue !
It's always FREE

If you are reading this and have not yet signed up,

DO IT NOW

and

. . . LET'S US KNOW YOU'RE THERE . . . 

SUBSCRIBE  to THE COPY MACHEEN
ajseiler@aol.com

BARNEGAT LIGHTHOUSE

"OLD  BARNEY"
Long Beach Island
Barnegat Light, NJ

USE YOUR BACK BUTTON TO RETURN TO MAIN PAGE
AFTER VIEWING ABOVE SITE

  Barnegat Sunset

The Fleet