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A Brand New Issue
Online Every WEDNESDAY.

                                       Lady Lynx

GREETINGS and WELCOME to all the new readers 
who joined us this past week.
This site contains MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL. 
It is designed for an ADULT audience.
Nothing here is meant to offend any one!!
If you are easily offended, you may unsubscribe 
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Reminder e-Mailer, that we send to all who requested it. 
ENJOY

A woman confided to her girlfriend, 
"My ex-husband wants to marry me again."

The friend said, "How flattering."

The woman replied, "Not really. 
I think he's after the money I married him for."

 

Sam and Annie were at the beach, sitting on a blanket, when a
man with the body of a dancer, wearing a bikini swimsuit, walked by.
Sam said to Annie,

"Hmm...  want ME to wear a Speedo?"

Annie answered, "No."

"Why not?" asked Sam, "I've got nothing to hide."

"That's the problem!" exclaimed Annie.

 

SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

Your houseplants are alive, 
and you can't smoke any of them.

Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

You watch the Weather Channel.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of
"hook up" and "break up."

You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids
next door won't turn down the stereo.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers!

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

You take naps from noon to 6 PM

If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and
antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

 

click  I JUST DON'T LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE

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Have you ever wondered how long you would be on hold 
if your call WASN'T important to them?

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES 
 
THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING 
 
BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE 
 
WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. 

 

Abe wakes up one morning and says to his wife, Sadie: 

"Aaarrrggghhh, Sadie! I've got a terrible pain on the left side of my body....aaarrrggghhh....I think I must have appendicitis!" 

Sadie sighs and says, "Don't be silly Abe. You're appendix 
is on the right side of your body!" 

At  which Abe replies, "Well that's the problem! 
My appendix is on the wrong side!"

 
Mr. Cohen goes to the doctor for a check up. 

After extensive tests the doctor tells him 
"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.
You only have six months to live." 

Mr. Cohen is dumbstruck. After a while he replies 

"That's terrible doctor. But I must admit to you 
that I can't afford to pay your bill." 

"Ok". "Then I'll give you a year to live." 

The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens
he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one
Saturday night the cock went missing!

The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village
so he started to question his parishioners in church
the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation,
"Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody
seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen MY cock?

All the nuns, three altar boys,
two priests and a goat stood up.

Bumper Stickers

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

In school, the teacher asks: 
"Who can tell me now who was the mother 
of Moses? You, Daniel, should know, tell me!" 

Daniel, a young Jewish child, stands up and 
answers without hesitation: 
"Moses mother was the pharaoh's daughter!"

"No, no, no, no, Daniel..., the pharaoh's daughter 
found him down the Nile, in a basket..."

"Yeah yeah, that's what she says"

 

Two friends were discussing the public trend towards more 
traditional family values, sex, marriage, etc.

Ralph said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we were 
married, did you?"

"I'm not sure" said the friend, 
"What was her maiden name?"

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.  
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 
"Perfect timing.  You're just like Moishe." 
 
Passenger: "Who?" 
 
Cabbie:  There's a guy who did everything right.  Like my coming along 
when you needed a cab.  It would have happened like that to
Moishe every single time." 
 
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." 
 
Cabbie: "Not Moishe.  He was a terrific athlete.  He could have gone
on the pro tour in tennis.  He could golf with the pros. 
He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star 
and you should have heard him play the piano." 
 
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?" 
 
Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer.  Could remember 
everybody's birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order 
and which fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything.  Not like me. 
I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out." 
 
Passenger.  "Wow, some guy ehh? 
 
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic 
and avoid traffic jams, not like me. 
 
Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around" 
 
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her
feel good and never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; 
and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." 
 
Passenger: "An amazing fellow.  How did you meet him?" 
 
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Moishe." 
 
Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" 
 
Cabbie: "I married his widow." 

A college freshman comes home for Christmas 
after being away all semester. Her father looks her up and down,
 then says, "Aren't you a lot fatter than when you went away?" 

"Yes, I am Dad," the girl admits. 
"I weigh 140 pounds stripped for gym." 

The father stares at her for a moment in horrified amazement.  
Finally, he shouts,

"Well, tell me this: 
Just who in the devil is Jim?"

 

 Meeting God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where
God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a
six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man.
The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase.
He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he
noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy.
His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again,
so he offered him a root beer.

Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling,
but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was
and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more
than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man,
and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later,
his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.
She asked him,
"What did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God."
But before his mother could respond, he added,
"You know what?
God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy,
returned to his home. His son was stunned by the
look of peace on his face and he asked,
" Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God."
However, before his son responded, he added,
" You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile,
a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment,
or the smallest act of caring, all of which
have the potential to turn a life around.
People come into our lives for a reason,
a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

author unknown

 


 
  and BRING THEM HOME, 
  NOW . . . ALIVE! 

and everything in between

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