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WEDNESDAY
DECEMBER 21st 2005

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FOREVER MAY IT WAVE
IN GOD WE TRUST

BEST viewed FULL SCREEN

AJ's

"Jokes Galore"
Plus a Little Bit More

BACKGROUND MUSIC
ADJUST your SOUND
TUNE it UP - TUNE it DOWN or TURN it OFF HERE

MOSTLY ADULT JOKES AND HUMOR.
IF EASILY OFFENDED, LEAVE NOW !
IF UNDER 18 JUST GO AWAY,
and straighten up your room.

"A Day without a Smile is like a Day without Sunshine.
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow & Live Today! "

Many thanks to
K1mmm, Trish, Tootsie, YoursTruelyT,
for contributing to the content of today's page

A Brand New Issue
Online Every WEDNESDAY.

Lady Lynx

GREETINGS and WELCOME to all the new readers
who joined us this past week.
This site contains MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL.
It is designed for an ADULT audience.
Nothing here is meant to offend any one!!
If you are easily offended, you may unsubscribe via
the link included in each Reminder e-Mailer,
that is sent to all who requested it.
ENJOY

Merry Christmas

and

Happy Chanukah

NEXT SUBJECT for the
POLITICALLY CORRECT
Holiday Hit Squad . .

A dog goes into a hardware store and says:
"I'd like a job please".

The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs,
why don't you go join the circus?"

The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen lived next door to each
other for over 40 years, and over the years became
loving friends.

One day Mrs. Murphy came to Mrs. Cohen and said,
"These houses are becoming too much for us. Let's sell
them, and each move into a home for the senior
citizens."

Each went to a home of their respective religions, and
were soon placed. Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for
Mrs. Cohen, and one day asked to be driven to
the Jewish Home to visit her old friend Mrs. Cohen.
When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs
and kisses.

Mrs. Murphy said "So how do you like it here?"

Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food,
the facility and the care takers. She then said, "You
know the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend."

Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful. Tell me
what you do."

Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch we go up to my room, and
sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the
top, and then on the bottom, and then we sing
Jewish songs." Mrs. Cohen said, "And how is it with
you Mrs. Murphy?"

She said it was also wonderful at her new facility,
and that she also had a boyfriend.

Mrs. Cohen said, "So what do you do?"

"We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on the
edge of the bed.I let him touch me on top, and then I
let him touch me down below."

Mrs. Cohen said, "And then what do you do?"

Mrs. Murphy said, "Since we don't know any Jewish
songs, we fuck."

"We've been married for ten years and we've got no kids,"
said the husband. "And the next-door neighbors say
it's because we're stupid."

"Nonsense," smiled the doctor.
"It's probably to do with your diet...
or it might be a question of timing.
How many times a week do you do it?"

"Do what?" asked the wife.

"No diet will remove all the fat from your body
because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you
might look good, but all you could do is run for public office."
Julia Roberts

"If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people."
Pamela Anderson

"A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic
who has never owned a car."
Sandra Bullock

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
Claudia Schiffer

Just to add more to the 'spirit' of the holiday season,
please answer the following question.
The correct answer is at the bottom.

Which one of the women below has
the breast implants?

Answer:

Who gives a shit?

"Honesty is the best policy,
but insanity is a better defense."
Melvin Belli

"Housework can't kill you,
but why take a chance?"
Phyllis Diller

Click here: Sick of Your Job?

Use your BACK button after viewing, to return to The Copy Macheen.
DON'T GET X'd OFF SITE

"Nasty crack you've got there."

New Computer Viruses:

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer
to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Has a plan to store data on both sides of the disk
that causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive
with NO memory

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting
and re-counting.

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then e-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves,
but will be back

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB,
then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM,
but your processor doesn't care

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into
a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows

The Ted Kennedy Virus - Blocks all alcohol pop-ups.

The Laws of Work

If it weren't for the last minute,
nothing would get done.

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters
from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable,
if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you
say you've done, and what you're going to do.

After any salary raise, you will have less money
at the end of the month than you did before.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.
No use being a fool about it.

If you are good, you will complete all your assigned work.
If you're really good, you'll get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal
when the boss drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are
the ones who shouldn't.

The last person that quit or was fired
will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across
a naked man standing in a clearing.

The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,

"How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?"

Where is my suit??

MY JINGLES ARE FROZEN

Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to
a local newspaper office and inquired about putting an
in the 'Lonely Hearts' column...

"Well, madam," the assistant said,
"we charge a minimum of $1 per insertion."

"You don't say," said the spinster
"Well then, here's $20 and to hell with the advertisement!"

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he dropped in
on one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked
the President if he would like to lead the discussion
on the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example
of a "tragedy."

One little boy stood up and offered:
"If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field
and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand:
"If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff,
killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president.
"That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent.
No other children volunteered.
Bush searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who
can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said:
"If Air Force One carrying you and Secretary Rumsfeld
was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to
smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right.
And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy,
because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and
it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either."

"Say what you will about George Bush but at least his interns
are only licking the envelopes."
David Letterman
on Bush sending out
1.4 million Christmas cards

"It's true, everybody is in the holiday spirit. Last night,
Bill Clinton saw the 'Nutcracker.' Not the ballet, Hillary."
David Letterman

VERY SAD NEWS

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be
a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason.
They simply have not been able to find
three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was no problem, however,
finding enough asses to fill the stable.

From all of us here to
all of you around the world.
May 'PEACE on EARTH' be
a reality in the ensuing year.

and BRING THEM HOME,
NOW . . . ALIVE!

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

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