"Well, isn't that precious?"

Two nicely dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation
 while waiting for their flights from the LAX Airport. The first lady 
was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. 
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South.  
When the conversation got around to children, 
the California woman started by saying, 

"When my first child was born, my husband 
built a beautiful mansion for me." 

The lady from the South   commented
"Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."  

Again, the lady from the South commented,
"Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, 
"Then, when my third child was born, my husband 
bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." 

Yet again, the   Southern
lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, 
"What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" 

 My husband sent me to charm school," declared the old Southern lady.

 "Charm school?" the first woman cried,  
"Oh my God!  What on earth for? 

The Southern lady responded, 
"Well for one thing, instead of saying,
 "Who gives a shit?"  I learned to say, 
'Well, isn't that precious?'"

HER DIARY

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. 
We had made plans to meet  at a bar to have a drink. 
I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was  
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. 
 Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere 
quiet so we  could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. 
I asked him what was wrong  he said nothing. 
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. 
He said it had  nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled 
and kept  driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know 
why he didn't say I  love you too. When we got home 
I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted  nothing to do 
with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV 
He seemed  distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, 
about 10 minutes later he  came to bed and to my surprise 
he responded to my caress and we made love,  
but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts 
were somewhere else.  I decided that I could not take it 
anymore so I decided to confront him with  the situation 
but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too 
fell  asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that 
his thoughts are with  someone else. My life is a disaster.


HIS DIARY

Played a horrible game of golf today. 
Shot a 95! Can't putt for shit. Got laid though.

BOB

Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up 
at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and 
very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's 
socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs 
on Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. 

His buddies at the club are all envious. They corner him and ask, 
"Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" 

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" 

They're knocked over, but continue to ask. 
"So, how'd you persuade  her to marry you?"

Bob says, "I lied about my age."

His friends are fascinated, "What do you mean? 
Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."