MOSTLY ADULT JOKES AND HUMOR.
IF EASILY OFFENDED, LEAVE NOW !
IF UNDER 18 JUST GO AWAY,
and straighten up your room.

   "A Day without a Smile is like a Day without Sunshine


Many thanks to
Trish, Heartlace, K1mmm, WilsonKKW, 
Reinbohntr, LeslyeHR, MEllen,
for contributing to the content of today's page

  A Brand New Issue 
 Online Every WEDNESDAY.

                                       Lady Lynx

GREETINGS and WELCOME to all the new readers 
who joined us this past week.
This site contains MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL. 
It is designed for an ADULT audience.
Nothing here is meant to offend any one!!
If you are easily offended, please, unsubscribe from 
the Reminder e-Mailer - sent to all who requested it. 
A link is included within each reminder.
ENJOY

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it 
in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it's been lying outside and it is dirty and probably 
has germs on it," I told her in my best mommy voice.

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, 
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "...all moms know this stuff. 
Um, it's on the Mommy Test. 
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently 
pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "If you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."

To the woman who was applying for a job as a typist, 
the employer said: 

"You have plenty of speed and are good at spelling, 
but do you understand the importance of punctuation?" 

"Oh yes," the woman replied "I always get to work on time." 



YEAR'S SMALLEST but LEGAL SWIMSUIT






Sherry the secretary walked into her boss's office and said, 
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you"

"Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" 
he complained.
"Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. 
"You're not sterile....."

A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the doctor, 
"I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember 
ANYTHING after five minutes!" 

The doctor answers, in his most comforting tone, 
"Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down..." 

The third grade was being given a course in first aid. 
The question was asked,

"What would you do if you had a younger sibling 
who swallowed a house key?" 

After a pause, one of the students answered, 

"I'd climb through the window!" 

Today I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport. 
She's now at that age where she doesn't remember. 
So I said, "Thanks for coming. 
Come back soon.
Have a good flight. Good-bye!" 

Bernie says to his friend,
"My Sadie and I, 
we are always holding hands."

"Why do you do this?" asks his friend.

"Because if I let go, 
she shops."



A man goes into an adult entertainment shop 
and asks the assistant for an inflatable doll. 

"Would you like male of female?" 

"Female, please." 

"Would you like Black, or White?" 

"White, please." 

"Would you like Christian or Muslim?" 

This question confused the man . . . and he replied, 
"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!" 

"Well," explained the assistant,
"The Muslim one blows itself up!"

Life may not be the party we hoped for, 
but while we are here we might as well dance.



The minute you settle for less than you deserve,
you get even less than what you settled for.



Blonde Caller to operator:
"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry;
I don't understand who you are talking about".

Blonde Caller: "On page 1 section 5, of the user guide 
it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine 
from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. 
Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago.  Red meat
is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. 
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be 
disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm 
caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is
  one thing that is the most dangerous of all 
and we all have, or will, eat it.
   Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes 
the most  grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

  After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man
in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."



"You're wasting your time," said the intended victim.
"Things are so tough with me I haven't had a nickel 
in my pockets for a week."

"You think that's tough? You don't know what tough is,
" the holdup man replied. 
"I ain't been able to afford bullets for this gun for two months."



The teacher asked the class if anyone could give the class
 an example of love. Little Susie stood up and said,
 "I saw two robins making a nest together, I think that is love".

Very good said the teacher, anyone else?

Little Johnny stood up and said i think love is "fucking".

The teacher was shocked and told little Johnny to go home 
and not to come back without a note from his father.

The next morning Little Johnny was back in class, 
the teacher asked, "Do you have a note from your father?"

Little Johnny said, "No, my father said love is fucking
 and anyone that says it is not is a cock sucker 
and he doesn't correspond with cock suckers."



"My uncle was killed in a shipwreck."

"Did he drown?"

"No. He was cast up on a desert island 
with two chorus girls."

"Did he starve to death?"

"No. He worked himself to death 
tearing down distress signals. 

"Can you act?" asked the producer.

"Can I act?" retorted Taretsky. 
"Once I died so convincingly 
on the stage that a man fainted."

"Who was he?"

"My insurance agent."
 

  
  and BRING THEM HOME, 
  NOW . . . ALIVE! 

HUNK

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

Look for a NEW issue every
  WEDNESDAY 

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW
JOKES and CARTOONS
PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITES.
WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO INCLUDE THEM
IN FUTURE ISSUES FOR ALL TO ENJOY
Please use the "Feedback" or "E-Mail links.

BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL OF VIRUSES,
PLEASE DO NOT SEND ATTACHMENTS.
ATTACHED FILES WILL BE DELETED.

ALL ISSUES CONTAIN COPY, EITHER
"BORROWED" FROM OTHER PUBLISHERS
OR CONTRIBUTED BY READERS
~~~~ MANY THANKS TO YOU ALL ~~~~
IF YOU SEE AN ITEM WITH COPYRIGHTS, LET ME KNOW
SO I MAY PLACE CREDIT WHERE IT IS RIGHTFULLY DUE.
REMEMBER - IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY.

For an E-MAIL REMINDER
of every issue !
It's always FREE

If you are reading this and have not yet signed up,

DO IT NOW

and

   . . . LET'S US KNOW YOU'RE THERE . . .   

SUBSCRIBE TO THE COPY MACHEEN
ajseiler@aol.com

BARNEGAT, NEW JERSEY
On The Jersey Shore

><><