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WEDNESDAY
NOVEMBER 9th 2005

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FOREVER MAY IT WAVE
IN GOD WE TRUST

AMERICAN RED CROSS

BEST viewed FULL SCREEN

AJ's

"Jokes Galore"
Plus a Little Bit More

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MOSTLY ADULT JOKES AND HUMOR.
IF EASILY OFFENDED, LEAVE NOW !
IF UNDER 18 JUST GO AWAY,
and straighten up your room.

"A Day without a Smile is like a Day without Sunshine.
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow & Live Today! "

Many thanks to
Paulete, Trish, Heartlast,
for contributing to the content of today's page

A Brand New Issue
Online Every WEDNESDAY.

Lady Lynx

GREETINGS and WELCOME to all the new readers
who joined us this past week.
This site contains MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL.
It is designed for an ADULT audience.
Nothing here is meant to offend any one!!
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ENJOY

Down in Alabama a young blonde gets her first period, so
she goes to the drugstore to get some pads. The wide selection
and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help.

"What kind of pads should I get?" she says.
"This is all new to me."

"Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."

She says, "It's ceramic tile."

The aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the
edge of the pigpen when the old woman wistfully recalled
that the next week would mark their golden wedding
anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested.
"Let's kill the pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled beard.
"Gee, Martha," he finally answered,
"I don't see why the pig should take the blame
for something that happened fifty years ago."

One frigid morning in North Dakota a man turned up
at work much the worse for wear.

"I didn't sleep a wink," he told a coworker.
"I was up all night trying to keep my wife's begonia
covered against the freezing cold."

"I should be so lucky," his coworker replied.
"When it's this cold my wife wears so damn many clothes to bed,
I can never get anywhere near her begonia."

Naughty Thanksgiving
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Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful,
ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and
boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day
and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones
are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame
without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education
and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend
better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably
The Family Dog!

EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS
There once was a blind fellow who decided to visit Texas.
When he got on the plane, he felt the seats and said.

"Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered,

"Everything is BIG in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
placed between his hands. He exclaimed,

"Wow these mugs are huge!" The bartender replied,

"Yup! Everything is BIG down here in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
where the restroom was located. The bartender replied,

"Second door to the right."

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally
missed the second door. Instead, he entered the third door,
which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man surfaced and started shouting,

"DON'T FLUSH, DON'T FLUSH !!!"

The middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor.
"All my husband does is complain that
I never want to have sex with him.
And he's right too. I have no desire at all."

The doctor gave her a prescription and told
her to return for a visit in two weeks.

After the two weeks were up,
she bounced smiling into his office.
"Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it
twice a night now."

"That's wonderful." said the doctor.
"What does your husband say now?"

"How should I know?" she replied.
"I ain't been home yet."

Halle Berry got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed,
first-ever topless scene in Dominic Sena's Swordfish.
And Jay Leno got an unscheduled sneak peek when Berry
guested on "The Tonight Show" shortly before the film's release.

Thanks to her plunging neckline, Berry revealed rather more
to her host than she had planned.

"My problem is, I've never sat down in this dress,"
said a blushing Berry as she attempted to cover herself.

Leno's impromptu reply?
"My problem is... I can't stand up!"

In 1946, Winston Churchill traveled to Fulton, Missouri,
to deliver a speech and to be present at the dedication
of a bust in his honor. After his speech, Churchill was
approached by a rather attractive and well-endowed woman.

"Mr. Churchill," she declared, "I traveled over a hundred miles
this morning for the unveiling of your bust."

"Madam, I assure you," he enthusiastically replied,
"in that regard I would gladly return the favor!"

A man sitting at a lunch counter has just been
served his food when he calls the waiter back.

"Waiter," he says, "can you explain why there is a
footprint in the middle of this food that I ordered?"

"Yes, sir," replies the waiter.
"You rushed in here, asked for a large omelet
and told me to step on it."

John, for heaven's sake, why can't you just TALK
to me once in awhile?" whined Mari.

"Huh?" John responded.

"Look around you!" she yells as she points around the room.
"All these books. Your head is always buried in books.
You don't even know I'm alive!"

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"You know, sometimes I wish I were a book.
Then you'd at least look at me."

"Hmmm," John mumbled in deep thought, "that's not a bad idea.
Then I could take you to the library every few days and
change you for something more interesting."

Looking down at his patient,

the doctor decided to tell him the truth.

"I feel that I must tell you: You are a very sick man.

I'm sure you would want to know the facts.

I don't think you have much time left.

Now, is there anyone you would like to see?"

Bending down toward the sick man,

the doctor heard him softly answer,

"Yes."

"Who is it?"

In a little stronger tone, the patient said,

"ANOTHER DOCTOR."

"Four years ago, my cousin ran for state senator."

"What's he doing now?"

"Nothing. He got elected."

and BRING THEM HOME,
NOW . . . ALIVE!

and SHE'S NOT EVEN WEARING A HELMET

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