Many thanks to all and special thanks to
Paulette, AngieOBri, Trish,
for contributing to the content of today's page.

"Start every day off with a smile - and get it over with!"
We can't control the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and go pee.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical recliners.





A priest checks in to a hotel and says to the receptionist,
"I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled?"

No sir, said the lass, “it’s just ordinary porn,
you sick bastard.”



A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up
after 20 years of marriage. After her husband went to work
she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked
up a pair of crotch-less panties. She went home,
prettied herself up and donned the new garment
and selected a short skirt to go with it.
 
She greeted her husband when he came home from work
and sat across from him after she prepared him a drink.
She slowly spread her legs, and in a husky 'come fuck me'
voice says,

"Honey, would you like some of this?"
 
The husband looks between his aging wife's legs
and lets out his breath. Looking up at his doting wife replies,

"HELL, NO! Look what its done to your fuckin' underwear!"





A guy picked this woman up in a nightclub and took her home.
While they were walking home he didn't say a thing.

"You're not the communicative type, are you"
she asked as they were undressing?

"Nah," he replied and pulled out his old fella.
"I do all my talking with this."

"Shit," said the girl as she leaned forward to look.
"You don't have much to say, do you?"



DEFINITIONS

 TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically
    turns red when your car approaches.

DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love .

PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough
to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch
things happen, and the majority has no idea
what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water
in it.

SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one
peanut.




The other day, Bill's wife asked him to go to the video store
and get
'Scent of a Woman' .
 
She hit him over the head when he came back with
'A Fish Called Wanda'.





A guy comes home from work early and finds his wife
laying naked in bed.

"What are you doing in bed this time of the day", he asks.

 She replies, "I have a stomach ache so I thought
I would lay down for a while."

 "Hey, where in the hell did this cigar come from," he shouts.

  From under the bed a voice says,
Havana!!



The moon shone silver on the waters of the lake, and
the waves beating on the shore were hardly equal
in intensity to the waves of  passion nearby.
One ardent couple pulled apart long enough
for the young man to whisper,

"Am I the first man to make love to you?"

Her  tone, when she answered, was irritable.
"Of course," she snapped.
"I don't know why you men always ask
the same ridiculous question."





It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid  it between my fingers until I got to the end of it.
I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands,
and the end was wet.
Then it got very  hard and began gushing out of the tip.

Then I took the garden hose and
watered the bushes.



A man from Russia won a trip to Las Vegas. He picked up a hooker
and got a room. When she undressed, he saw she had a
bikini wax. He said,

"Hey, you have no wool down there. In Russia all women
have wool there!"

She replied, "Hey Mack, you want to fuck or knit?"





A family is driving in their car on holiday.
 
A frog is crossing the road and the husband somehow manages
to stop the car without hitting it. He gets out and carries
the frog to the side of the road.

The frog is very grateful and thanks the man, telling him
that he will grant him a wish. So the man says,
"Please make my dog win his next race.

The frog looks at the dog, which jumped out of the car,
and notices that the dog has only three legs. He tells the man that
it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks
that the man make another wish.

The man says, "Well, then please help my wife win
the next beauty contest she enters."

The frog asks the wife to get out of the car. She
comes out of the car and walks over to the frog.
 
The frog turns to the man and says,
"Could I have another look at that dog?"

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, 
the world will know peace."
                                                              Jimi Hendrix

" WOW "

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