Many thanks to all and special thanks to
Terrygray11,Tootsie, SlingGMa, 
AngOBri,K1mmm,Philalakes
for contributing to the content of today's page.

"Start every day off with a smile - and get it over with!"

The Senility Prayer
Grant me the senility to forget 
the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the 
ones I do, and the eyesight 
to tell the difference.



Mick opens Paddy's fridge and says 
"Why do you always keep an empty milk bottle in here?

"Paddy replies "in case someone wants black coffee 
you thick twat."



How come when your wife's pregnant friends rub her tummy 
and say congratulations!

None of them rub your cock and say 'well done'!

The Doctor's Tale
 
Dr. Dave had slept with one of his patients 
and felt really guilty. 

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the sense of betrayal.
But every once in a while he’d hear a reassuring voice in his head saying 

“Dave, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first doctor 
to sleep with a patient, you won’t be the last 
and you’re single. Just let it go.”   

But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality 
by whispering 
“Dave, you’re a vet.” 

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, 
and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, 

"What the hell are you two doing?" 

His wife turns to the stranger and says, 
"I told you he was stupid."

 

Creator Of Maxine 

  
John Wagner, Hallmark artist since 1970, says Maxine was inspired by his mother, his maiden aunts and his grandmother, the woman who bought him art lessons when 'fill in the pumpkins' 
was about the extent of his art classes at 
St. John's Catholic School 
in Leonia, N.J. 
John remembers doodling as a preschooler and says both 
his grandmother and his mother encouraged his artistic interests.
He eventually attended the Vesper George School of Art in Boston 
and landed at Hallmark as part of a new artists group.
         

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 
25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 
25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, 

"When you first saw my
naked body in front of you, 
what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck 
your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, 
"What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

 

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing 
on a most deserted beach at Ft. Myers Florida .

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also 
in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket 
on the sand near hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.. 
 "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach.  Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," 
he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 
three years ago and it is very lonely, she countered. 
"Do you live around here?"  She asked.

"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ," he answered , 
and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted,
" Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her 
blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most 
passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped 
and asked the man,
 "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied.. 
"How did you know my name was Katz?"

 

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger 
jumps up frantically and announces, 
"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, 
"Is there someone on this plane who is man enough
to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 
"Here, iron this!". 

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, 
when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, 
"I caught you and you owe me three wishes!".

So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, 
what's your first wish?". 

The woman stops and thinks for a second, 
"I want a huge mansion to live in." 
The goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". 

Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." 

"OK, you've got that too." 

"My last wish is a million dollars!". 

The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make 
your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me."

"OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?"

"I'm 27", she replies

"Geesh" says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

MEXICAN RECLINERS
 

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, 
and take the house when they leave.

 

The 'Ultimate' 
of Marriage Wisdom . .

"The fucking you get isn't worth
the fucking you get."

 

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, 
nudges his wife awake and asks,

"Why don't we get it on, eh?" 

She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow 
and you know I don't like to make love the night before." 

So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to 
go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges 
his wife again and asks,

"You don't by any chance have a 
dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. 
Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house 
and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady 
yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. 

He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says 

"What's up with your neighbors?" 

and the owner of the house says
"Oh that's the Robinsons, they're both deaf. 
She's telling him to go milk the cow and he's telling her
to go fuck herself!" 

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, 
the world will know peace."
                                                              Jimi Hendrix

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God,
then we will be a nation gone under." 
                                                                                            Ronald Reagan

" WOW "

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

The Fleet