All
the guys want a turn, so he
makes a fortune.
After he
closes up, he carries the girl back
outside the door
where
she came in and
then counts his evening's profits.
The
next night, at the same time,
the
doorbell rings and the girl is back.
Sam can't
believe his luck. Inviting her in he asks,
"Sixteen
Whiskeys again, Darlin'?"
"Oh
no, Vodka please....
Whiskey makes my twat sore."
Three
students are leaving their last class of
the day.
The
Law student is thinking, "I'm tired and
thirsty. I must have coffee."
The
English major is thinking, "I'm tired
and thirsty. I must have latte."
The
Medical student is thinking, "I'm tired
and thirsty.
I must have diabetes."
Toward
the end of the golf course, Harry somehow
managed to
hit
his ball into the woods finding it in a
patch of
pretty yellow buttercups.
Trying
to get his ball back in play, he ended
up
thrashing just about every
buttercup in the patch.
All
of a sudden, POOF!, in a flash and puff of
smoke,
a
little old
woman
appeared. She said,
"I'm Mother Nature! Do you know
how long it took me
to make those buttercups? Just for
that,
you won't have any
butter for your popcorn the rest of
your life;
better
still; you won't have any butter for your
toast for the
rest
of your life..... as a matter of fact, you
won't have any butter
for
anything the rest of your
life!"
THEN
POOF!....she was gone.
After Harry got a
hold of himself, he hollered for his
friend, Fred.
"Fred, where
are you?"
Fred yells back,
"I'm over here, in the Pussy
willows."
Harry yells
back......
"DON'T SWING
FRED!!!"
"For God sake, DON'T SWING!!"
Interesting
-
Year 1981
1.
Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool
crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. The Pope Died
Year
2005
1. Prince Charles got
married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of
Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. The Pope Died
Lesson
Learned?
The
next time Prince Charles gets married,
someone
warn the Pope.
\
A
young smartass pilot wanted to sound cool
and
show
who was boss on the aviation frequencies.
On
his first nighttime approach to a field in
rural Iowa,
instead of making any official requests to
the tower,
thinking it was really cool, he
snidely asked,
"Guess
who?"
In response, the
controller quickly switched
off the field lights and calmly replied,
"Guess
where"
A girl
asks her boyfriend to come over Friday
night and have dinner
with
her parents. Since
this is such a big event, the girl
announces
to
her boyfriend that after dinner, she
would like to go out and make
love
for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he
has never had sex before, so he takes
a
trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist
it's
his first time and the pharmacist helps
the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is
to know about condoms and sex.
At
the register, the \pharmacist asks
the boy how many condoms he'd
like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because
he thinks he will be
rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's
parents house and meets
his
girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet
my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girls
parents
are seated. The boy quickly offers to
say grace and bows his
head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep
in prayer,
with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and
still no movement from
the
boy .Finally, after 20 minutes with his
head down, the girlfriend
leans
over and whispers to the boy friend,
"I had no idea you were this
religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back,
"
I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."
How's
this for a mailbox?
It
was my first time ever And I'll never
forget
I'd do it again Without a single regret.
The sky was dark The moon was high
We were all alone Just she and I.
Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue
I knew just what She wanted to do.
Her
skin so soft Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers Down her spine.
I
didn't know how But I tried my best
I started by placing My hands on her
breast.
I
remember my fear My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread Her legs apart.
And
when I did it I felt no sham
All at once The white stuff came.
At
last it's finished It's all over now
My first time ever At
milking a cow...
Poison!
A
man goes to see a Priest.
"Father, something terrible is
happening and I have to talk to you
about
it." The Priest asked, "What's
wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is
poisoning me."
The Priest, very surprised by this,
asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling
you, I'm certain she's poisoning
me,
what should I do?"
The Priest then offers, "Tell you
what. Let me talk to her,
I'll
see what I can find out and I'll let you
know."
A week later the Priest calls the man
and says,
"Well,
I spoke to your wife.
I
spoke to her on the phone for three
hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the
Priest.
"Researchers
have discovered that chocolate produces
some of
the same reactions in the brain as
marijuana. The researchers
also discovered other similarities
between the two,
but
can't remember what they
are."
-
Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
Well,
it must be somebody's birthday,
mustn't it?
TaTa
until November
Stay
well and be Happy
USE
FANCIES"®
PAGE
"No,
it's Ice Cream!"
.
. . LET'S US KNOW YOU'RE THERE . . . 
