NOTICE of VACATION TIME 
Months of JULY & AUGUST 2010

I WISH EVERYONE A GREAT SUMMER

Hope to see you all again in September

CLICK HERE FOR
Archived Prior Issues
                                                                                                                      

Our MAIL BOX will remain open for those of you who wish
 to send JOKES or CARTOONS for inclusion in future issues of 

THE COPY MACHEEN 

Please send your favorites to:

ajseiler@aol.com

THE WRONG ANSWER

A wife asks her husband,
"How many women have you slept with?

Husband proudly replies,
"Only you, darling.
With all the others, I was awake!"

Hospital Visiting Hours are;
10am - 4pm.

Little Firefighter 

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station,
when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon
with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose
tightly coiled in the middle. 

The girl was wearing  a firefighters helmet. 

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. 

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the  firefighter said with admiration. 

'Thanks,' the girl replied.
  
The firefighter looked a little closer.. The girl had tied the
wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how
to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar,
I think you could go faster.' 

The little girl replied thoughtfully,
'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'




A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies,
'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'








Albino Seahorses are very rare.
This photographer captured two in this memorable photo:-

Two Polish hunters from  Chicago hired a pilot to fly them
to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged four.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip home,
the pilot tells them the plane can take only two moose.

The two Poles objected strongly, stating,
"Last year we shot four moose, and the pilot let us put them all
on board, and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all four were loaded..

Unfortunately, even at full power, the little plane couldn't handle
he load and crashed a few minutes after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreck, Tadziu asked Wladziu,

"Any idea where we are?"

Wladziu replied, "I think we're pretty close
to where we crashed last year."



Two old guys were chatting . . 

One said to the other:
"My 85th birthday was yesterday.
The wife gave me an SUV".

Other guy responded:
"Wow, that's amazing!!
Imagine, an SUV!!
What a great gift!"

First guy:
"Yup !! . . .  Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly
behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he
has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets
in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle and for fruit,
cereal and soft drinks in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, 
saying in a controlled voice, 
"Easy, William, we won't be long... easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say,
"It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes 
and we'll be out of here.
Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the 
cart, and Gramps says again in a controlled voice,
"William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. 
We'll be home in five minutes. Stay cool, William."

"Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather
is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said
to the elderly gentleman,

"It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there.
I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your 
composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, 
you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. 
William is very lucky to have you as his granddad."

"Thanks, lady," said the grandfather, "but I'm William...
the little bastard's name is MELVIN."

Two little old ladies were sitting on
a park bench outside the local town hall
where a flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said,

'Life is so boring. We never have any fun
any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off
and streak through that stupid flower show!'

'You're on!' said the other old lady,
holding up a $10 bill.

The first little old lady slowly fumbled
her way out of her clothes and,
completely naked, streaked (as fast
as an old lady can) through the front door
of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard
a huge commotion inside the hall, followed
by loud applause and shrill whistling.

Finally, the smiling and naked old lady
came through the exit door surrounded
by a cheering crowd.

'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.

'I won 1st prize as 'Best Dried Arrangement'.

When Love Fades...
 
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard 
my wife's' voice from the kitchen.
 
"What would you like for dinner my Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"
 
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
 
She replied "You're having soup, asshole. I was talking to the cat."

A man is at his lawyer's funeral and is surprised by the turnout
for this one man.  He turns to the people around him.
 
"Why are you all at this man's funeral?"

       A man turns towards him and says,

"We're all clients."

       "And you ALL came to pay your respects?  How touching."

       "No, we came to make sure he was dead." 

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, 
the world will know peace."
                                                              Jimi Hendrix