MOSTLY ADULT JOKES AND HUMOR.
IF EASILY OFFENDED, LEAVE NOW !
IF UNDER 18 JUST GO AWAY,
and straighten up your room.

"A Day without a Smile is like a Day without Sunshine.
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow & Live Today! "

Many thanks to
Nita's Niche, Trish, Grandmary13, Reinbohntr, CLRiley,
for contributing to the content of today's page

                                       Lady Lynx

GREETINGS and WELCOME to all the new readers 
who joined us this past week.
This site contains MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL. 
It is designed for an ADULT audience.
Nothing here is meant to offend any one!!
If you are easily offended, you may unsubscribe 
from our Reminder e-Mailer, via the link included there. 
It is sent to all registered subscribers. 
ENJOY

If you are reading this and have not as yet subscribed,
Click here ->  for an E-MAIL REMINDER of every new issue !
It's always FREE





Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies
 to cool off. Later that evening, he decided to phone home
to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize.

"Hello, darling," he said, "what are you making for dinner?"

"What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said
to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner??
POISON. . . that's what I'm making. . . POISON!"

Bernie replies, "Okay then, just make one portion,
I'm not coming home."

BEGGAR CAUGHT



QUESTIONS & ANSWERS?

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.
 
How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
 
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party.
A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
 
What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
 
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
 
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
they have no intention of driving.
 
What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.
 
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.
 
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand
AND a dozen donuts.
 
Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut.
 
The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
"Are you in?"
 
The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"

SENIORS are more valuable than any
of the younger generations:

We have silver in our hair.
We have gold in our teeth.
We have stones in our kidneys.
We have lead in our feet.
And . . . 
We are loaded with natural gas.

MARRIED LIFE

HUSBAND: Leave me alone!
WIFE: It won't take long.

HUSBAND: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
WIFE: I can't sleep without it.

HUSBAND: Why do you think of things like this
in the middle of the night?
WIFE: Because I'm Hot.

HUSBAND: You get hot at the damnedest times.
WIFE: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

HUSBAND: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Wife: You don't  love me anymore.

HUSBAND: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
WIFE: (Sob-Sob)

HUSBAND: Alright, I'll do it.
WIFE: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

HUSBAND: I can't find it.
WIFE: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

HUSBAND: There! Are you satisfied?
WIFE:  Oh, yes, honey.

HUSBAND: Is it up far enough?
WIFE: Oh, that's fine.

HUSBAND: Now go to sleep and from now on
when you want the window open, do it yourself.

HOW TO HYPNOTIZE A MAN 

Mr. Thomas, the vice-president of sales, was having lunch
in the executive dining room with another v-p.

"I swear," Mr. Thomas said,
"my assistant is so absentminded it's a wonder he sells as many
computers as he does. I asked him to bring me a newspaper
on the way back from lunch and I'll bet he forgets."

Just then the assistant ran into the v-p's office.
"Mr. Thomas, guess what!" he hooted.
"While I was eating, Mr. Grayzel of Grayzel Publishing
sat down next to me. Started talking about how he needs
a new computer system. By the time we finished eating,
he agreed to buy a quarter-million-dollar system from us!"

The v-p turns to his colleague.
"What did I tell you? He forgot the newspaper."

Bumper Stickers
><
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

Practice Safe Sex; Go Screw Yourself.

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

A man goes to his doctor and says. " Doc, I have a problem.
My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is
sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home
Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

The doctor says "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row
is pretty dangerous for a man of your age.  I will give them
to you on the condition you return to my office on Monday so
that I can check you out."

The man says "You have a deal, Doc."

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks "What happened"?

The man answered "Nobody showed up!"

 My friend says her sex life is like having candy while on a diet.
She doesn't get much, but when she does, it sure is good.



Did you hear that Hollywood is going to remake The Exorcist?

Its about a mother who hires the Devil
to get a priest out of her son!



I know I must be really good in bed, because women always ask me
if there's any possible way I could make it last longer.



"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill.
Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said,
"Dear, I think an affair will bring us
closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife.
"I've tried that...it never worked."

><><

  I think we ought to make "AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" the
national anthem. It's not about war, there's no bombs
bursting in air, no rocket's red glare.  It's about the land,
 amber waves of grain.  That sounds good to me.
Plus, it's a hell of a lot easier to sing.
Willie Nelson

      
  and BRING THEM HOME, 
  NOW . . . ALIVE! 

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW
JOKES and CARTOONS
PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVORITES.
WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO INCLUDE THEM
IN FUTURE ISSUES FOR ALL TO ENJOY
Please use the "Feedback" or "E-Mail links.

BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL OF VIRUSES,
PLEASE DO NOT SEND ATTACHMENTS.
ATTACHED FILES WILL BE DELETED.

ALL ISSUES CONTAIN COPY, EITHER
"BORROWED" FROM OTHER PUBLISHERS
OR CONTRIBUTED BY READERS
~~~~ MANY THANKS TO YOU ALL ~~~~
IF YOU SEE AN ITEM WITH COPYRIGHTS, LET ME KNOW
SO THAT PUBLICATION RIGHTS MAY BE PROCURED as well as
 ALLOW ME TO PLACE CREDIT WHERE IT IS RIGHTFULLY DUE.
REMEMBER - IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY.

For an E-MAIL REMINDER
of every issue !
It's always FREE

If you are reading this and have not yet signed up,

DO IT NOW

and

   . . . LET'S US KNOW YOU'RE THERE . . .   

SUBSCRIBE TO THE COPY MACHEEN
ajseiler@aol.com

BARNEGAT, NEW JERSEY
On The Jersey Shore