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HOPE YOU ALL HAD A HAPPY EASTER     IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD,      Falling in love.      Laughing so hard your face hurts.     A hot shower.    No lines at the supermarket         Hearing your favorite song on the radio.  Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.     Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.            Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.    Laughing at yourself.        Friends.     Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you     Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.           Making new friends or spending time with old ones.       Playing with a new puppy.         Hot chocolate.    Swinging on swings.      Making eye contact with a cute stranger.  Making chocolate chip cookies      Having your friends send you homemade cookies.          Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change.    Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a  present from you.       Watching the sunrise.     Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. Knowing that somebody misses you.       Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.  Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.      Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. The Alphabet A is for apple and B is for boat That used to be right but now it won't float. Age before beauty is what we once said But let's be a bit more realistic instead Now The New Alphabet A is for arthritis B for the bad back C is for chest pain, perhaps car-d-iac D is for dental decay and decline E is for eyesight, can't read the top line F is for fissures and fluid retention G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is for high blood pressure--I'd rather it low I is for incisions with scars you can show J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next N is for neuralgia in nerves way down low, O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights counting my fears T is for tinnitus, there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary, big trouble with flow V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray and what might be found Y is another year I'm  left here behind Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind. I 've survived all the symptoms my body's deployed And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.   I Think it's God After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."  "I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning. "Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. "Please slow down, Your Holiness!"  pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,  but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.  "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.  "So bust him," says the Chief. "I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop. The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!" "No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence. The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?" Cop: "Bigger." Chief: "A senator?"   Cop: "Bigger."  Chief: "The Prime Minister?"  Cop: "Bigger."  "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?" Cop: "I think it's God!"  The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"  Cop: "His chauffeur is the Pope." Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey boss, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house."       Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says,  "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again." The blonde looks quizzically at her and says,"  You don't like getting flowers?" The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"      President Bush recently went to a primary school in Macon , Georgia ,to talk about the  world. After his  talk, he asked if the children had any questions. One  little boy put up his hand, and the president asked  him his name.  "Kenneth."  "And what is your question, Kenneth?"  "I have three questions:  1 ... Whatever happened to the weapons of mass destruction?  2 ... Why did you give a tax break to the super wealthy?  3 ... Did you steal votes to win both elections?"  Just then the bell rang for recess. President Bush  informed the kiddies that they would continue after recess.  When they resumed, the President said "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"  A different little boy put his hand up. Bush pointed  him out and   asked him his name.  "Larry."  "And what is your question, Larry?"  "I have five questions:  1 ...Whatever happened to the weapons of mass destruction?  2 ...Why did you give a tax break to the super wealthy?  3 ...Did you steal votes to win both elections?  4 ...Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?  5 ...What happened to Kenneth?" Keep Swimming Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul. But the other took the gloomy view. "We'll drown," he lamented without much ado. and with a last despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye." Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin, "I can't get out but I won't give in, I'll just swim around till my strength is spent, then I'll die the more content." Bravely he swam to work his scheme, and his struggles began to churn the cream. The more he swam, his legs a flutter, the more the cream turned into butter. On top of the butter at last he stopped, and out of the bowl he gaily hopped. What is the moral? It's easily found... If you can't hop out, keep swimming around! One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the ???"  he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April," he hollered into the bathroom,  "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She shot back: "It's not talcum powder.   It's Miracle Grow"     A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, "Do you know her?"    "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking rightafter we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."   "My God!" says the wife,  "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" Well, it's got to be someone's birthday!   Please, be Healthy and Happy

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BARNEGAT, NEW JERSEY
On The Jersey Shore