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FRIDAY
 APRIL 06th 2007


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FOREVER MAY IT WAVE
IN GOD WE TRUST

BEST viewed FULL SCREEN


AJ's

"Jokes    Galore"
Plus a Little Bit More
 

"Start every day off with a smile - and get it over with!"
 


BACKGROUND MUSIC
Music - Music - Music 
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See blurb on AJ's Favorite Links page
Music on this site is for background only.
Where ever possible, please support the Artists 
by buying their CDs and Albums.

ADJUST your SOUND
TUNE it UP - TUNE it DOWN or TURN it OFF HERE

  


"The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything."

"A Day without a Smile is like a Day without Sunshine.
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow & Live Today!

LIVE in the present, PLAN for the future
& PROFIT from the past. "

If there's no smile on your face and no laughter in your heart,
YOU are just . . . . a sour old fart.


Many thanks to
AngOBri, Reinbohntr, Terrygray11, Philalakes, TootsieZ
for contributing to the content of today's page.

 


Lady Lynx

 

 

 

H A P P   E A S T E R

 

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy
decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop
and replaced every single egg
with a brightly colored one.

A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the
colored eggs, then stormed outside
and killed the peacock.


Roses are red, pickles are green
I love your legs and what's between.
I like your style I like your class
But most of all I like your ass.


BEAUTIFUL CLASSIC BRIDGE



What is the difference between a Hobo and a Homo?

A Hobo has no friends.
A Homo has friends up the ass!



Bush and Rumsfeld were sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld  sitting over there?"

The bartender  says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a
Real honor! . What are  you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims
and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?
Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you,
No one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims.

Have you heard about the three sailors who
were walking along the beach?

A wave came along and sucked them
under the boardwalk.




My wife gives me no respect.
I took her to a drive-in movie.
I spent the whole night trying to find out
what car she was in.
Rodney Dangerfield







After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case,
 Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers.
En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes.
"Say," said Hanson,
"what would you give a sixty-three-year-old hooker?"

"Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops."



 
  
A new world's  record in the high jump
 
from a kneeling position was set yesterday
at a beach in southern France.    
 
This picture was taken just a few seconds    
before the jump took place.    

 

Eye Test for men
 
See if you have what it takes to be a pilot..

Can you focus on the parrot for 10 seconds ?


 

Nah!
. .  . I didn't think so!

 

click  DEAR PENIS 

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A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas
when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback
came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a "Ye-e-e-h-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed
from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,
yelled one final "Ye-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the attendant.

"Nothing," the woman answered. "I merely sat behind him on the horse,
put my arms around his waist, and held on to the saddle horn
so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."



Know where you can find sympathy?

In the dictionary.
Somewhere between 'shit' and 'syphilis'.



THE 5 STAGES OF A FEMALE'S LIFE

1. To Grow Up

2. To Fill Out

3. To Slim Down

4. To Hold It In

AND

5. To Hell with it

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in 
Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. A man 
walked over and sits down on the other end of the 
bench. After a few moments, the woman asks,

"Are you a stranger here?" 

He replies, "I lived here years ago." 

"So, where were you all these years?" 

"In prison," he says. 

"Why did they put you in prison?" 

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 
"I killed my wife." 

"Oh!?" said the woman. 
"So...?... you're single...?" 




There were three men at a bar.  One man got drunk and
started a fight with the other two men.  The police came
and took the drunk guy to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge.
The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?"
The man said, "Here and there."
The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?"
The man said, "This and that."
The judge then said, "Take him away."
The man said, "Wait, Judge, when will I get out?"
The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later...."





Two couples went out golfing together. 
The men hit first from the men's tee
and walked with the ladies to their tee box.
 
The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, 
missing it completely, while passing some gas 
rather loudly in the process. 
No one commented.
 
She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just little gas 
as she made contact with the ball, topping it and moving it 
only a short distance.
 
She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"
 
One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas!"



Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar
talking about their professions.

The one guy says, "I'm a YUP..ya know...
Young, Urban, Professional.

The second guys says "I'm a DINK..ya know,
Double Income No Kids."

They asked the woman, "What are you?
"She replied.... "I'm a WIFE...ya know,
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.





Mrs. Siegel, rather advanced in years, had finally been persuaded to
consult a psychiatrist for the first time. The psychiatrist, after an
extensive interview said,

"Mrs. Siegel, with your permission, I will  try an experiment
with you. It may serve to advance us more rapidly.  I am
going to have you lie here on the couch for half an hour, and
during that period of time I want you to think of nothing but sex."
"Do you understand me? Just think of sex.
When I come back I will ask you what you have thought
and we can proceed from there."

In half an hour, he returned.
"Well, Mrs. Siegel, have you been thinking of sex?"

"Yes, doctor, " she said.

"And what have you been thinking?"

"I've been thinking," she answered, "that in my opinion, Sex Fifth
Avenue is not as good as Nieman Marcus."




Now THAT'S an asshole!!

              


We All Still Have Hope That
Happier Days Are Ahead For The World
Now lets think ahead to '08.
Keep Informed, then
Vote your conscience with a
Sensitive Regard for Fairness and Justice.

AND 
BRING THEM HOME,
NOW . . .
 ALIVE!

 

 

" WOW "


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