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Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow & Live Today! "

Many thanks to
Tootsie, Trish, Paulette, CLRiley
for contributing to the content of today's page

A Brand New Issue
Online Every WEDNESDAY.

                                       Lady Lynx

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PEARLS OF WISDOM!  
 
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness
will make him wag his tail.

If you don't have a sense of humor,
you probably don't have any sense at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the  
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate
how many people a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger
than everyone else looks?

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy
who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.

Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game"
when his team is winning.

I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Be careful reading the fine print.
There's no way you're going to like it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody
has the same size bucket.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands
of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,  
you are probably dead.



"When you open a door, don't forget to close it.
Treat your mouth accordingly."
~ Jewish Proverb ~

FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl
"Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and
drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END

What did the blonde librarian say to the badly-injured
pedestrian she ran over while driving the Bookmobile,
as he lay on the street, screaming in agony?

"Shhhhhhhhhh!"



INTERVIEW WITH TARZAN

Tarzan leaves the jungle, comes to civilization,
and applies for a job.

Interviewer:  Name?

Tarzan:  Me Tarzan.

Interviewer:   Married?

Tarzan: Wife, Jane.

Interviewer: Children?

Tarzan: Son,  boy.

Interviewer: Anything else to your name besides Tarzan?

Tarzan:  Tarzan, King of the Jungle.

Interviewer:  Jane's Whole Name?

Tarzan:  Jane's Hole named Pussy.

"I call it St. Peter."

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity
><
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
><
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
><
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
><
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
><
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
><
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
><
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
><
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
><
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
><
Hard work never killed anybody
But why take the risk
><
Work fascinates me
I can look at it for hours
><
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
><
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........ 
><
Don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs
but by how high he bounces when he hits bottom....



Jane: Choosing baby names is so hard.

Mary: I agree. that’s why I drew my baby’s name
out of a hat.

Jane: What’s its name?

Mary: 8 1/4.



Miss Jones was teaching her class math.  She asked,

"Johnnie, if your father earned $100.00 and gave half of it
to your mother, what would she have?"

Little Johnny replied, "A heart attack!?"



Alice is watching her husband, John,
coming out of the shower. She says,
"You have dickey-do disease."

John asks, "What's that?"

Alice says, "Your belly sticks out more than your dickey do!"

Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drug store
looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help
her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but
I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms."

Two women were having lunch together,
and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman says,
"I need to be honest with you,
I'm getting a boob job."

The second woman says "Oh that's nothing,
I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!"

To which the first replies,
"Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

Two girls were comparing their experiences at
the company's annual office party.

"Did you get laid, Sherry ?"

"Twice."

"Only twice?"

"Yeah, once by the band and
once by the accounting department!

   
  and BRING THEM HOME, 
  NOW . . . ALIVE! 

HUNK

http://www.thecopymacheen.com

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